Joke of the Day

I've recently been diagnosed with Guillaume-Barr syndrome. I am unable to process certain episodes of "Benson" as well as "Roseanne."

Joke of the Day

Women are now suffering from gender disappointment, post-giving birth. Whatever happened to just being happy you didn't die of diphtheria from a rusted tong? I know I know. Diphtheria isn't caused by rusty tongs. It's caused by being a member of the royal family.

Joke of the Day

The new hybrids are too quite and could pose a danger. Sound techs are creating sound effects you can pick and choose for your car. I want the "discrete lady fart" for my car. It's a soft fart followed by a desperate attempt at distracting conversation.

Joke of the Day

A friend of mine asked me out for Pakistani food in Tribeca. I said, "let's wait till these drones monitoring Pakistani activity are out of the beta phase."

Joke of the Day

Is it just me or is this Catholic church celibacy requirement bringing priests not closer to God, but closer to thinking they are God?

Joke of the Day

Conde Nast has cut Modern Bride magazine. Post-modern Bride magazine however will remain in print and totally unintelligible.

Joke of the Day

The Southeast Asian Games are set to commence this December. Events include "lady boy or real girl," "who can carry the most chicken cages on their motorcycle" and "most disgusting smell coming from a food."

Joke of the Day

Sorry, gentlemen, I'm not available. First of all, I'm a lesbian. Secondly, I have a boyfriend.