Let's Wear the Right Shoes When We Go to the Buddha

I am happy to report that I went to meditation last night and I saw no shoes that were of major concern. Sometimes I will go there and I will see outside the door a pair of brown leather Doc Martins lying slightly askew next to a pair of tossed-off large white running shoes and I will say “no no no. How can I experience an absence of suffering with this going on. I suggest you people “look deeply” at your shoes and then get back to me.” Of course, I am slipping off gigantic black New Balance USA 992s but that is because I am a compulsive runner and am part lesbian and therefore am exempted from the standards to which I hold others. But *these* people. Coming to the Lower East Side to meditate? Let’s clean it up and come dressed appropriately. Last night there was a black pair of Uggs, which I’m fine with, as well as some Velcro black canvas jobbies that looked “very cool gay man.”

At one point the leader pulled out his fancy microphone/recorder so that he could record it for his podcast*, and then everyone started making what I felt were very ostentatious “I want to hear myself on the podcast noises.” A guy loudly flipping through his notebook of Buddhist notes (!), a woman clearing her throat then slightly moaning. They were all wanting their moment in the spotlight. I had no craving for this, what with my television show The Kara Buller Show and my other media outlets.

The leader made a reference to his iphone and an app that he particularly loves, called “Things” which helps you organize your to-do lists. I felt buoyed. Perhaps if I study meditation enough, I too will have clear skin and an Iphone. Right now, all I have is the itouch, which is fine, but if walking the way of the Buddha can lead to more, then I’m on board.

click http://www.theidproject.com/podcast.htm for the podcasts. Boy, I tell you the 31 year old kid who runs this thing is on fire. He talks like the supersmart friend you got high with in high school before he left for Harvard, looks like the supercute gay friend we all want to have or be and is committed to prison reform like that gray-haired lesbian who looked at me like I’m a slut yesterday probably is! Goooo Ethan Nichtern!