Big Mama Don't Care!

So there are clearly some guests at the hotel who I plain and simple do not like. When they start to act up, I immediately pull that shit away. They are no longer a friend of Kara J. Buller's, I will tell you that. Somebody ain't readin' that Secret shit so somebody needs to git away from me! That's how I see it. I don't need no more negativity rubbing up against me. I'm tryin' to fight the good fight over here and I don't need no babies cryin' about no lukewarm brefass buffet, you hear me?

Today there was a travel agent acting up. She didn't like her room.

"I mean there's no make-up mirror, there's no bathmat, there's no bathrobe. I want you to get me a nicer room."

"Listen, bitch I can get you a nicer room but it ain't gonna be at this hotel, okay? It gonna be ova at the St. Regis or some shit. We be talking the London or the Soho Grand or some shit like that if you gonna be talkin' about makeup mirror."

Dumb bitch. I told her three times that our rooms don't come with no makeup mirror.

"I want you to move me to a nicer room."

I moved her to another room that was the exact same as her nasty room. Dumb bitch. That'll teach her.

After that shit, I asked to go out and stand in the lobby by the checkin machines. Stand there all day and fart and smile at people. All day long. Now that be the job, girl! Just fuckin' stand by the automated check in machine and help the retards get their credit cards swiping the right way?! That's right!

On the train ride home I was sittin' across from some bitch who had some bag from Stretch World, Inc. "Specializing in Stretch Fabrics since 1997. 252 West 38th Street New York, NY 10018." I ain't shittin you! Check out their website, yo! They got demin metallic stretch for 8 bills a yard, yo!

Grrrl, I dragged my ass to some literary event over where the homos live in the Chelsea, you know? They done gone and postponed that muthafuckin' literary event! I's standin' out there flippin' through my New Yorker lookin' for some other literary event to go to like some junkie trying to get his fix...

Mama took it over to the French res'rant, mmkay? Mama got some crepes and some warm pineapple juice poured over ice. Put those feet up and pulled out my Backstage. You know what I'm talkin' about. A girl has got to keep up. Check out those audition notices and shit. Grrrrrrrl, you have got to! Even if yo ass be real ugly and you ain't got no talent and you just stutter and get all sweaty when you up there… Turns out that comedy club Gotham's lookin' for comics. You only gotta bring four people. Then what. Then they give you a videotape so you can add it to the pile with all your other videotapes. You know what I'm gonna say to that don't you? That's right. That's some buulllllllllshit!

Got home and put me in some Entourage. Now that I got me a Jew manager I got to keep on top of these things. See how this mutherfuckin shit gits done!

But you tell me why mama wants to watch some show about some skinny ass pretty boys fuckin pretty girls and goin' around all day talkin' about pussy and televisions! All day long. Pussy and televisions. Televisions and pussy. Big mama don't care!

Grrrrrl, I tell you what. It's been one of those days. Mama gonna draw herself a bath, and get ready for another day of some bulllllllshit.